On days like today, I could use a mask. Instead, I walked the halls and gave uncomfortable smiles. My tell is the shine in my eyes. That shine decides whether or not I let out enough tears or more are on the way. Recently, it has told me to prepare for more.
Today, I substituted a triple truffle Blizzard for dinner and I made a soothing tea to set the tone for the rest of the night.
I steeped the tea bag with my spoon. I watched its contents silently mingle inside. I found I have personal similarities with that tea bag. The seams held everything inside but were pruning. My seams are experiencing wear as well. Like the tea bag, I reach for the surface whenever something plunges me under.
When the steeping was over, the tea bag floated lifelessly on the surface. The indentations from the spoon assisted steeping were still visible. When all the tea was emptied from the mug, the bag was stuck to the bottom. I don’t want to be there.
What can I do to avoid becoming this battered tea bag?
- Make time for meditation and mindful practices again
- Practice gratitude more and remind myself of the many reasons I am fortunate
- Continue to attend regular appointments with my counselor and psychiatrist
- Continue to exercise
- Make time for my passions and hobbies
- Make and keep occasional plans with family and friends
- Envision my best self
Have any of you felt this way? What has been helpful for you? How did you help someone else?
I wish you the best.