As a child, I had night terrors. If you would like to know more about night terrors, please follow this link.
https://www.sleepassociation.org/sleep-disorders-n/night-terrors/
My parents had a discussion about my situation. My aunt on my dad’s side tried to help. She bought me a crystal angel with a dangling gold bell. It came with a calming message. “Each time a bell rings, an angel gains its wings”. I placed it on the post of my canopy bed. I rang the bell when I felt scared and it provided some relief. A few days later, the bell went missing. I looked all around my room for it. I never found it. My older brother swore he didn’t take the angel’s bell.
Now, I’m well into adulthood and still experience sleep terrors. In an attempt to escape and prevent it, I read several articles on night terrors in adults. I learned that it is common for adults with mental illnesses, such as depression, panic disorder, and PTSD to experience night terrors. In case you haven’t read my previous posts, I match that description.
Over the years, I’ve slept walked, screamed, talked, flailed, punched, cried and have had panic attacks in my sleep. My mom has done a few of these things too. During my research, I learned sleep disorders can be hereditary. Don’t worry Mama. I’m not blaming you. 😉
For about a week, I woke myself and my husband by repeatedly saying, “help me”. It didn’t even sound like my voice. That disturbed me.
Some nights, I feel bad for my husband. He has helped me through countless panic attacks. It was happening so frequently that I trained myself to say “wake me up”. Often, this came out as a panicked scream. My husband comforts me and tells me he’s with me. Sometimes, he rests his upper body against mine. This stops me from kicking and thrashing. Sometimes, it wakes me. Other times, he calms me and I continue sleeping.
I’ve had nightmares for five consecutive days and two weeks. According to the New York Times, only 1 in 500 adults has one nightmare a week. I guess this is something that makes me special.
I tried different things to improve my dreams. A couple of years ago, a friend gave me liquid melatonin. Before I tried the supplement, I researched its effects. I read that some people had bizarre dreams while taking it and others reported it helped them to sleep well.
Since I already had frequent nightmares, I didn’t see any harm in taking melatonin. I added two drops to my tea before bed. I hoped I would feel at ease and naturally drift off to a dreamless sleep. Instead, I stayed awake for the entire night. Somehow, I didn’t feel tired the next day.
I’ve talked with my family doctor and my counselor numerous times about my nightmares. For a while, I referred to it as “chronic nightmares”. There hasn’t been any correlation with stress, diet, duration of sleep, content watched before bed or whether or not I was in a depressive episode.
After a while, I was afraid to fall asleep. I didn’t want to find myself in a horrible dream again, feeling and witnessing excruciating pain. That fear causes me to have intermittent insomnia. Sometimes after a week or two of terrifying dreams, I won’t sleep the next two nights. From experience, I know a lack of sleep triggers my generalized anxiety and deepens my Major Depressive Disorder (MDD). I was desperate to find a solution.
I spoke with my psychiatrist about my unrestful sleep. She diagnosed me with PTSD nightmares. She prescribed me a medication for it. It was the same medication one of my friends took for several months. That friend found it quite helpful. I learned that the medication is primarily used to lower blood pressure. Unfortunately, I had issues with low blood pressure in the past. I took the medication for a week. I started getting mild to moderate headaches. I was dizzy in the morning. Throughout the day, I would become nauseous. I tracked this during that week. The longer I took the medication, the worse my side effects became. I told my psychiatrist about my side effects and medical history. She acknowledged my concerns and discontinued the medication. My psychiatrist told me all medications that relieve nightmares reduce blood pressure. I would have to deal with nightmares.
My counselor asked me if I thought a sleep study would be helpful. Sleep apnea is prevalent in my family. I know this because a few of my immediate family members have had sleep studies done. Eventually, a sleep study might benefit me. Currently, I am uncomfortable with the idea. My primary care doctor said it’s possible to have one done at home. Hopefully, that will be an option for me. I can’t imagine getting any sleep in a hospital room, separated from my husband and being hooked up to various machines. My dad told me about his experience. He recalled how loud the machines were and how frequently he woke up.
Here is a list of actions I’ve taken to improve the quality of my sleep.
- Took natural supplements
- Took prescription medication
- Practiced sleep meditations
- Received massages from spouse
- Reset my circadian rhythm, by going to bed and waking up earlier
- Visualized sending the people and creatures of my dreams away
- Wrote down my concerns and hopes before bed
- Watched cute animal videos before bed
- Exercised once a week
- Practiced beginner’s yoga before bed
- Drank “Sleepy Time” tea before bed.
- Hung dream catchers
- Established a calming bedtime routine
- Quit watching horror movies in 2012
- Quit reading horror and suspense books in 2012
- Stopped watching most of the news in 2015
- Used dream analysis to try to understand my nightmares
- Attempted to lucid dream, so I could give myself permission to wake up
- Prayed while holding a prayer rosary. (I don’t attend church, but I like to believe in a higher power. A college friend gave me the bracelet)
Since I am an artist and a writer, I was curious to see if my creativity makes me more susceptible to night terrors. According to the New York Times article, it does. Again, you can read the article by following this link. https://www.nytimes.com/1984/10/23/science/nightmares-are-linked-to-creativity-in-new-view.html Also, the author connects creativity to schizophrenia. I am not suggesting that connection.
If you suffer from night terrors, I hope this blog and the mentioned articles help you find relief. If you have suggestions to stop or prevent night terrors, I would love for you to share your ideas in the comments.
I wish you the best.