A couple of months ago, I was writing on my break. A team nurse as kind as can be popped in and said the nicest things to me.
Internally, I had been feeling overwhelmed and kind of worthless. She changed that. She was someone I walked by each day, but spoke with very little. She saw so much good in me and told me that day.
My eyes welled. I asked if I could give her a hug. She responded by giving me one. I thanked the kind, generous nurse and gushed. I told her how much I needed that and the pressure I was feeling. I hugged her again. I wiped the tears from my eyes and face and thanked her once more.
Afterward, I tried to write down what she said, so I could read it on difficult days. I’m so appreciative that she took the time to share what she thought of me.
This is the same person who frequently asks about my progress on my artwork and creative projects. Each time, I’ve been disappointed to tell her that I hadn’t worked on anything.
Each time, she encouraged me and said she looked forward to seeing my finished work. I’m hoping to get back into it soon.
Last week, those familiar feelings of shame and worthlessness engulfed me again.
I sobbed while I flipped through a catalog of city events. I told my husband I’d feel like I had more of a purpose if I could find something I could volunteer for. He reminded me that I prefer to stay home in the winter and that I’ve accomplished a lot. It helped a little.
Fast forward to last Monday.
I was thinking in the shower. When I turned off the water and looked down at my feet, I found something in the soap suds.
Do you see it?
To me, it looked like a semicolon with a sideways heart next to it.
I carefully stepped out of the bathtub. I gently pulled back the front of the curtain and took a picture. I sent it to a couple of close friends. After I confirmed that the picture was saved, I wiped away the suds.
In case you haven’t heard of Project Semicolon and what it represents; it means you continued when you could have stopped. If you would like to learn more, please visit https://projectsemicolon.com
As always, I thank you for your continued support.
I continue to wish you the best.